Art/Musing

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goodbye laziness, timidness and
shit... there was something else... FUCK. i can't for the life of me remember what i said.
those two stuck out in my mind the most... so the other one must not have been important.

my first rit. pretty exciting.

well, this is what a blog is for.

well, the one thing i wonder about is... whether or not i could date another artist. i mean, sure there are some very attractive artsy-types in the world, and it is good to date someone with at least a little bit in common with you. not that i'm boasting or anything, but if i end up being a better artist than the pretty artsy person, they seem to have a problem with their inferiority complex. not to mention, artists usually have brain bubbles that keep them from being able to function in a relationship effectively. at least, that's my story.
so i know i probably shouldn't want to be more than friends with the beautiful artist. for the previously mentioned reason of brain bubbles, and this too: she has a thousand guy friends who she's known for a decent ammount of time. all of them, more than equipped to be boyfriend material. the kinds where she can say 'i fucking love you' to them and they can return it. shit like that. shit that i haven't said to her. shit we haven't shared. but when we're together, all is fun and games. even mildly affectionate at some points.
so now you have my struggle.
i sent a message to J the other day seeing what it would take to get a job as a Production Assistant when i am done with school in the spring. and he said that it would come down to the budget and whether there's a desk available. so hopefully he can fit me in the budget, and someone gets the axe. of course, Production Assistant means that i am the basic bitch of the crew. i set up things, and do manual labor. but i gotta start somewhere if i want my dream to come true.
and here's another struggle. if i somehow miraculously end up dating the beautiful artist, and i got the job, i'd have to leave her, because i'm selfish like that.
and making a company with my friends. yes, a lofty dream, but we have no industry experience. if i wanted my dreams for that to become real, i'll have to leave town for a few years to play the game called life. sorry dudes. a bunch of guys collaborating on a nothing won't get us anywhere. especially without some way to support ourselves until we make it. it's unrealistic.


job > girl
job > company

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